before and after

January 30, 2009 at 9:40 pm (Uncategorized)

So I’d been meaning to write about this for a while, but I didn’t because I’m a space case who needs a to-do list to remind her to shower these days. But this post at Fatshionista by the very clever Lesley made me actually click over to WordPress. So.

I am not a huge fan of having photographs taken of myself. I think this is because I look larger than I do in the mirror, what with three dimensions being flattened to two. And most pictures of me recently have been taken at the middle or end of shenanigans with friends, when I am either drunk or greasy from lack of sleep. Not the most attractive state for anybody.

My friend Kait is a photographer and has recently been revamping/restarting her business, with hopes of getting it off the ground soon. And she was looking for test models. And because I have loads of free time I volunteered. The actual modeling was sort of hilarious because it was about eighteen degrees out and we both kept slipping in the snow.

When she uploaded the pictures, though, I was floored. I actually looked… pretty. Holy crap. It was almost magical, seeing myself as the subject and attention of a gaze that made me look beautiful instead of some vaguely sweaty blob in yesterday’s shirt. And there’s a lot to be said about the problems of valuing one’s appearance and blah blah male gaze, but… this was pretty novel for me, and I can’t say I hated it.

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